Free Advice Friday!!

This is the first of many Free Advice Fridays!

I got a good amount of emails and messages and twitters (okay, I wasn't tweeted) with questions ranging from the silly to the hard drama filled questions.

Here are the best:

Dear Mr. Geoff:

How many ways are there to skin a cat?

--Jon, CA

Jon,

There are several ways to skin a cat, but you only have one chance per cat. So be careful and choose wisely.

Best,
Geoff

Dear Mr. Geoff:

Last night, I had a softball game that ended early. I was still jazzed about the game, so I went out to eat with the team afterwards. I called and told my wife, who has been sick lately, what I was doing, and she seemed okay with it. I got home around 9pm, and I was in bed by 10:30. We've been bickering and fighting all morning long. What am I to do? We haven't been married long, and I really don't want to screw this up any more than I already have. Please help me, Mr. Geoff!

--William, TN

William,

The best thing that I can tell you is to take it in stride. Marriage, much like life, is long and full of amazing little presents that happen from time to time. You have to take the good with the bad. Here's the thing though that you might want to think about sick wives: they're more right when they're sick, then when they're healthy. For a peaceful house, apologize. As the ruler of your castle, it is easier to rule it with love than it is to rule with a fist. Don't worry about your pride, and don't worry about the "man card." This was a small battle, and it will be easily forgotten if you both love each other as much as you said you did when you took those vows. Now, get that fire going again, and keep at it! I wish you the best!

Best,
Geoff

Dear Mr. Geoff,

My ex and I broke up last June after dating for 3 years. I loved him. He was my world, and I was his. After a few months, I started dating again. It didn't feel right with any of them. I started comparing them to him. I don't really worry about a relationship right now, because of my schedule. But I would like to find someone, you know? I just don't want it to be my ex. Can you help me?

--Brittany, TN

Brittany,

Breaking off a relationship of that long is a hard thing to recover from. It's certainly not expected to bounce back within a new relationship within a few months. Since you are over your ex, or at least that's what I can tell with your letter, you might want to take a step back. Think of it this way, it's a bicycle; without one thing moving, the other can't either. When you're ready for a relationship, a great guy will be there waiting. Now, when he shows up, don't discard him because he's not like your ex. Just because a guy doesn't do things the way your ex did, doesn't mean that he is incapable of loving you any less. Give him a chance. You'll never know what you'll get. Good luck!

Best,
Geoff

Well those were the best, kids. If you want to submit your questions for next week's blog, feel free to email me with the subject line, "Free Advice Fridays." I can't wait to see what happens next week!!

Until next time, enjoy it!

May 15th, 2010...still to come...

So, there's a date that will change my life forever.

There is a date that will make everything else in my life different from here on out.

May 15th, 2010.

In just 399 days, 9,575 hours, and 574,560 minutes, my single life will be gone forever.

To be honest...

I'm stoked.

I am stoked to be loosing my single life.

Seriously, I was one of those guys who gave everything he could to the girl. I was the guy who would give his all to the relationship, to the heart of the lady he was with. I would do whatever it took to make her happy, regardless of what it was. I was that guy who was loyal like a puppy, and even wagged his tail like one. I took care of the girl, sang songs for her, wrote stories for her, lied for her, stole for her, almost killed for her, everything for that one girl that made me feel like I had everything I needed.

But it wasn't.

It was anything but.

You know how they say that "it's better to love and lost, then to ever love at all?" Yeah. You guessed it. If you've ever been single before, you know that scores higher on the Bull Shit O'Meter than Rush Limbaugh.

I used to go through a cycle. No, not a PMS cycle, but more of a romantic cycle. In a seri0us relationship, it was about 1-6 months in the relationship, and then 16 months single. I would've had a few dates or some floozy girls here and there, but that's about it. I'd meet most of them online, except for a few, and things would happen. Then they would fail faster than AIG.

I was looking for my "one." I was searching for that one person that God had in store for me. I was looking for that one woman where she and I would just "know." I thought I had that a bunch of times. Friends and family know that I said the words, "She's the one," so much that when you Googled it, and you clicked, "I'm feeling lucky," you got my picture. Time and time again I said it, and time and time again, I was heart broken, left wanting.

Things have been this way since I was 16. Now, I'm 23, and I'm on the verge of changing my life forever.

There was nothing wrong with the cycle I was on. I didn't have any plans to change said cycle, or to go away from what I was doing. It worked for me. It fit my waistline, which was hard to do. There were a few girls that I truely gave everything to, and I'll never forget them: Sheena (who I still won't talk to), Robin (who left me for drugs, and is currently the villain in my new screenplay), and then Chelsie (who came close to being the one, and then tried to change me).

I learned my lesson from each of the girls, and I moved on with my life.

After Chelsie, the latest woman who I gave everything to, dumped me on my birthday on a 8 hour drive home, I had lost the will to love again. I started drinking alcohol. A LOT. I mean, really. I became an alcoholic to express the pain of an ungodly heartache. Just the night before, I had come to realize the tie between God and Love, (They're the same. For more details see the blog "Love:Everything") and then the next day, I get my heart ripped out. But, such is life.

Everything has a meaning. And I mean EVERYTHING. There are some instances, where you can say, "Oh that's just good timing," and then there are others where you can say, "Oh he's just crazy." Regardless of which saying you prefer, if you think about anything within the past of your life, and you apply the formula of: x=y, then it says if a specific event (x) didn't happen, then the result (y) wouldn't have happened. If you have a different x, then you'll get a different y. With the variables in tact, then EVERYTHING HAS A MEANING.

Chelsie breaking up with me on my birthday, however wrong, did happen for a reason. Had it not been for Chelsie dumping me, then I would've NEVER been ready for what, or should I say who, has changed my life.

And her name was Bobbie.

She and I met online, and then met again officially at a local resturaunt. It wasn't necessarily the most romantic choice, LOGAN'S, but it worked. With the peanut shells on the floor, and the butterflies in my heart, she walked through the door. Right at that moment, everything changed. Right at that moment, with the goofiest smile upon my face (and believe me, I've had plenty), my world turned on its end and every single cell in my body, I knew that no matter what, my life would never be the same.

Countless number of confirmations, dances, and PLENTY of uh...amazingness...later, it was our date night.

We had the night like this before, where we and I went to play games, shopped, and then went to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. It was there that I fell in love with her all over again, and we had a fantastic night together.

On this particuliar date night, things were different, mainly the funds. Last time, she paid, and this time it was my turn to pay. Needless to say, since I'm a blogger, it's safe to say, "I'm broke," so yeah...there we are. We had chosen to go to a movie (Fast & Furious) and then to the Cheesecake Factory.

The night was beautiful. The movie was great, and the dinner was eloquent. It spoke loud with beauty and it screamed the music of love. Everything about that night was perfect. There was no wait at dinner, there were great people in the audience, (except for the 13 year olds who found it funny when Vin Diesel got mad/emotional), and dinner was fantastic.

After the night was over, and we were walking back to the car, I grabbed her hand. As we approached the car, I told her to close her eyes. I then opened the car, and turned on the song, "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls. As we danced in the moonlight, in the parking lot, our hearts were beating faster. They pounded in a sycrnation that only the love between us could be the metronome.

I asked her to close her eyes again. I went to my trunk, and I gave her three roses: One for the past, one for the present, and one for the future. I then got down on one knee and said the following: "There are only a few things that a man can say on one knee." She opened her eyes, and saw me on one knee with the ring in my hand.

At that EXACT same time, a white van drove by and saw what was happening.

With our hearts pounding harder and harder as the moments pass, I ask her that fateful question that always sounds cheesy when you say it aloud.

"Bobbie Jean, will you marry me?"

She nods her head furiously as she says those three little letters within one word that all men love to hear, "Yes...yes...yes...yes...yes...yes...yes!!!"

At that EXACT same moment, the same white van drove by again, this time with it's windows down.

"WOOOHOOO!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!" They screamed out of the van.

That moment, the one held in time forever, is the one moment that started the next chapter in my life. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that no matter what, she and I will be together as long as the Earth turns. This marks the end of my single life, and it's a welcome end at that.

May 15th, 2010.

399 days, 9,575 hours, and 574,560 minutes, my single life will be gone forever.

I can't wait.

Love:Everything, Everything:Life

Okay kids….

Listen up.

Many of you I haven’t seen in quite a long time. Many of you I’ve found to be some of my closest friends of all time. While others, you’ve kept this vision of who I am since you last saw me. Well, consider this your refresher course.

First off, let me get this out of the way.

I no longer believe that Jesus Christ was the Messiah.
I no longer believe that mankind even needs a Messiah.

Got that?

I do believe in God, just not that Jesus Christ was the Messiah.

You might have to re-read that part.

I’m not agnostic, nor an atheist. In fact, either one of those are ruled out by those five words in the third sentence.

Here is what I do believe:

I believe in love.

Love is the most powerful force in the multi-verse. Love is the force that binds everything together. It binds the trees to the air, the bees to the honey, and it binds mankind to all things. It flows through us as we breathe, and it flows through us like water into the ocean.

We don’t know the full power of what love can do, but we do see small examples any day of the week. We hear extraordinary stories of mothers saving their babies by lifting cars. That is only a fraction of the power of love.

Let me clarify something really quick.

Love has three forms. I believe that we are placed on this earth to love others and educate ourselves, later mastering, those three forms of love.

The three forms of love, as you’re probably already aware are:
Parental
Friendship/Family
Romantic

Those are pretty self-explanatory without using their Greek names. Speaking of Greeks, the GREEKS discovered these same things. They had some things terribly wrong, but on the same hand, they had plenty of things right. After all, if it weren’t for the Greeks, we might not have democracy.

If you look at all the other major religions, including Christianity, you see PLENTY of stuff that seems wrong to outsiders. I.e. depriving yourself of happiness in Buddhism, the Jihad in Islam, and the hypocrisy in Christianity.

I could go on and on about what’s wrong with Christianity, as many people could, but I won’t. There are several things right with all of the religions, like the sense of history, the explanation of things that we have to go through and how to act through them, and love.

Love.

There’s that word again.

All of the major religions in the world speak of love. They all speak of loving others before yourself. They all speak of the power of love. In fact the bible goes as bold to say that with the analogy that God is love, hence why I believe in God.

I do not believe, however, that God is an old king sitting on his throne over looking the multi-verse. That is an old analogy. It’s a metaphor that was crafted in the ancient times where kings and queens were common place. This is not a correct metaphor any more. At least, in my eyes anyway.

“If you do things right, people aren’t sure that you’ve done anything at all.”
-- God…in an episode of Futurama.

Think about that, and then think about how God has worked in your life, if you believe that way. It makes sense. Everything that God has done in this world, or that God has done in the past, and it can be explained through scientific means. Which prompts the question, what if science is the explanation of how? What if religion is the explanation of why things the way they are? They go hand in hand, much like the yin and yang.

I believe that we die when we have learned of all degrees of love. Now, understandably so, when someone’s choice takes another’s life early, as in a murder, car accident, or suicide, they get another shot at love. They get another shot at life. After all, love is forgiveness.

Once we learn about the three stages of love, we get to join the force that binds everything together. We get to hold it intact, while helping others learn of love from that realm.

Of course, if you don’t believe the way I do, that’s okay. Love is tolerance.

When you die, I believe that you go as where your beliefs tell you where you should. Your heart decides for you, but you are lead on a journey to get there.

I wrote a blog on my thoughts on death after my grandfather's death. If you’d like more information, I’d highly suggest going to read that. It’s worth it, and it is one of the best things I’ve written as it means a lot to me.

So let’s sum it up, here’s what I believe:

Love > Everything
Love: 3 Different stages, Parental, friendship, and romantic.
Love makes sense

Jesus was a great man, just not the messiah. Not to me anyway.

We don’t need a messiah or a savior. We have hope. We have love. We have an amazing sense of perseverance, and we have a fantastic sense of adapting and overcoming. We have our own messiahs.

Whatever inspires you to love, to live life to it’s fullest, and to take on amazing things that you never could before. That is your messiah. Whether it be a person, like Jesus or God for you, or Obama, or comic books and fake heroes.

So, after reading all that, I only ask one thing. You now know what I believe. You know, you may not understand, or want to understand, but this is what I believe and it works best for me.

I will only ask that you not shove what you have in my face, as I will not do this to you. I will not beg you to join my religion (mainly because its not a set religion, just a spirit of beliefs), nor will I persecute you. Please do not persecute me.

Let us both just tolerate one another and our thoughts on the after life. After all, how can we love each other as human beings if we cannot tolerate one another?